How Do I Talk to My Sexually Active Child? - And Other FAQs!

1. How do I address sex with my kids from a covenant point of view if they have already had sex?

I think as our kids get into the later teen years, and demonstrate resistance to any directions from us regarding life choices, we definitely need to share insights learned as they have impacted our own lives. This might sound something like,

"I went to a workshop and learned something surprising, not at all what I expected. The speakers talked about sex as a sign of a covenant. God used covenants to establish relationships between Himself and His people. For example, the rainbow was a sign of the covenant between God and the people of the earth when God made a solemn vow that He would never again flood the earth. God describes marriage all throughout the Bible as a covenant relationship. The sign of a marital covenant is sexual union. I found it so interesting that the implication of this was that every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their covenantal marriage vows."

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Episode 10: The Language of Sex

Episode 10: The Language of Sex

We all recognize that our  bodies speak.  Often we hear someone speak with a voice, but his or her body contradicts the message spoken.  This was God's intention from the beginning; that our bodies and our voices would speak in sync with His design.  How does an understanding of the language of the body bring clarity to our understanding of sex, marriage and weddings?  We'll explore this truth as well as discuss ways we can communicate it with the kids in our lives.

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Kids Judge their Bodies, How You can Help

Kids Judge their Bodies, How You can Help

We're all aware on some level that we've learned to judge our bodies through osmosis of the culture we live.  This has been the source of choices that result in impediments to a life of flourishing.  How can we stand in the way of this onslaught and replace the damaging thoughts that shape our self assessments?

 

In previous blogs we’ve established that we are embodied human persons, that the body expresses the person, and that the body and the person can’t be separated. It’s now important to revisit the challenge of separating the value of the person from the appearance of the body.  In what way is the value of my person related to the way I see my body?

 

Well, the perceived answer quickly becomes a personal one, so I’ll just speak from my own experience. I might be able to give a good Sunday school answer, “If I had a God-made price tag attached to my person it would read, ‘PRICELESS.’” Admittedly, it’s easier me to say this about others, but with an internal struggle, that would be invisible to you, I could admit that I am priceless because God sees us as priceless. But if I had to concede that this God-made price tag would necessarily be attached to my body that expresses my person, I would more likely cringe. I evaluate my body with a different kind of criteria and sometimes this means more to me than the value God claims that He has bestowed on me as a person. My husband and I have even occasionally started to exchange comments (when we are sure the kids aren’t around) about our aging bodies. Throw aging into the mix and the criteria with which I tend to evaluate my body’s appearance drastically reduces the number of days I can honestly assign positive value to my own body and therefore my embodied self. 

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Helping Kids to Integrate the Body and the Person

Helping Kids to Integrate the Body and the Person

Sometime after Donald Trump became president, I happened to hear an incredibly insightful comment from a news anchor. This comment seemed to be an afterthought at the end of a story that made mention of Melania Trump. I honestly do not remember the event or topic of the story, but much of the focus of the story was about Melania’s clothes and accessories. Video was shown highlighting Melania’s appearance, and the anchor’s final comment just before cutting away to the next story was, “Since we don’t know anything about who Melania Trump is, we are left to comment on what she looks like.”

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Episode 6: The Body and Person are Inseparable

Episode 6: The Body and Person are Inseparable

The human body and the person are inseparable.  We are all beginning to recognize this is true with the rise of holistic medicine.  But why is it important for us to understand and integrate this truth into the way we see ourselves and others?  The Lindas explore the implications and suggest practical ways to help those you mentor and parent in establishing this truth and understanding its implications. The impact on our choices regarding relationships cannot be underestimated!

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Changing the Conversation About Our Bodies

Changing the Conversation About Our Bodies

When my girls were babies, some of my most treasured moments were when they would explore my face, arms, and hands with their tiny little hands and their expressive eyes and smiles. Each daughter at her earliest age was getting to know her self and me, through our bodies. 

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Episode 5: The Body Reveals A Person

Episode 5: The Body Reveals A Person

The body is not a dirty shell or fleshy prison for our souls, but a “fearfully and wonderfully” (Psalm 139) designed expression of who God is and who we are. In fact, the body and person can’t be separated. My body reveals the beauty of the Image of God. I can know the ways you reflect God as I know you through your body that expresses your person. 
The true context in which we were created in Eden invites us to accept a much deeper and more meaningful lens for seeing and understanding our bodies. We see the body as an expression of self – simply put, it is how people know and engage with you! And it was with the embodied Adam that God engaged. There is no other way for a human to encounter the mystery of God in His fullness than through the human body; Through Christ’s body and our own. 

 

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Episode 4: Scripture As Our Guide to Flourishing

Episode 4: Scripture As Our Guide to Flourishing

God points the way to a life of flourishing and love through the scriptures.  Many of us have mistakenly understood the Bible as a book of rules, a standard of performance or a list of demands.  But God’s direction in scripture is a description of the way life REALLY works for us as humans.  As we grow in our confidence in His goodness and in His desire for our flourishing, the result is an eagerness to hear what He has to say about the best paths to travel in life and the ones to avoid.

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