Practical Help For Positive Conversations With Kids About Sexual Purity

Practical Help For Positive Conversations With Kids About Sexual Purity

In our previous blogs and in our workshop, THE conversation raises some serious questions regarding popular Christian teaching surrounding marriage, sex, sexual purity and single celibacy.  Our unspoken and underlying assumptions:

·     Marriage and sex in the context of marriage are prerequisites for a satisfying and fulfilling life.

·     Single celibacy is a sentence for a life of deprivation and loneliness.

 These assumptions not only contradict Biblical teaching but are the source of pain, resentment and many destructive choices.  

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Is There a Way to Talk With Youth about Single Celibacy Without Sounding Crazy or Irrelevant?- and more FAQs!

Is There a Way to Talk With Youth about Single Celibacy Without Sounding Crazy or Irrelevant?- and more FAQs!

If we can live a fulfilling life being single, why do people long for communion and togetherness with each other?

In our workshop, we talk about the source of our creation as the eternal exchange of love that flows between the persons of the Trinity.  We were made from the love of God.  We were made for the love of God.  And we were made to be an overflow of  God’s love through our lives into the lives of others.  In other words, our lives are all about communion and togetherness from the very beginning.  Marriage is one way to live out our calling to communion and togetherness.  It is not the only way.  We can also live out a calling of single celibacy, giving and receiving love as we unselfishly give of ourselves to others and our community in non-sexual ways.  The fifth and sixth sessions of our workshop help us to teach our kids ways to expand our understanding of love into the big picture of giving life and love to others in our world.  This big picture life brings freedom to understand that we can fulfill our calling in beautiful ways outside of marriage, much like Jesus did.

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Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

As a socially awkward and introverted teenager, I was ecstatic when I found “belonging” in a thriving high school youth group in the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew in confidence and leadership in this Biblically centered environment and received so many good gifts from God. But as with everything in life, these good gifts came in a mixed bag. Once I established a circle of supportive and fun female relationships, I discovered that it was kind of “a thing” to start a Hope Chest: a chest full of household items that would be joyfully unpacked WHEN one got married and established her own household. It was our idea of a good time to visit department stores, making decisions about our future dish patterns and household color schemes and planning purchases for our chests!

Yearly we anticipated the upcoming sex and dating teaching series in youth group. We eagerly sat on the edge of our seats as we listened to the speaker tell us that sex is awesome beyond imagination in marriage. Our interpretation of the message was this: “Get married so you can experience life’s highest good with God’s stamp of approval!” And many of us did get married young and quickly as this seemed the best strategy for “following the rules” and at the same time satisfying what seemed to us to be our deepest longings and desires.

Interestingly enough, I don’t remember ever hearing a talk on the beauty of the single and celibate life.

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Episode 13: What About Lust?

Episode 13: What About Lust?

In Genesis 3, we see the serpent approaching Adam and Eve with a suggestion - a suggestion that perhaps God had been withholding "the good life" from them.  They considered and the question took root in their hearts.  They strike out on their own and grasp for MORE apart from Him.  Immediately blame, shame and suspicion entered the picture and they hid from God and each other.  In the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II this event is described in this way: "Before the fall, there was no threat to the dignity of the person.  They desired nothing but to love as God loves.  After the fall, they covered themselves as a protection from lust."  Their choice to grasp for the good life apart from God delivered them into a realm where instead of experiencing a life of giving and receiving love, it was possible to become the vicim or perpetrator of use and abuse.  Lust had entered into our human experience.

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Episode 12: Single Celibacy, An Invitation to MORE or Deprivation?

Episode 12: Single Celibacy, An Invitation to MORE or Deprivation?

It is interesting to note that both Jesus and Paul were single and celibate.  We often fall prey to feeling sorry for those who are not married and yet how did Jesus experience the abundant kind of life apart from sex and marriage? In this episode the Lindas discuss the vocation of single celibacy, what we can learn about intimately connecting with God from those who have lived this vocation out, and ways to help our kids learn to understand it as an invitation to MORE.

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