Rethinking Lust

Rethinking Lust

About five years ago, I found myself in the audience at a marriage retreat put on by our church. To be completely honest, I have never enjoyed marriage retreats- they seem to ignite in me an overwhelming sense of failure and hopelessness. However, that’s beside the point I want to make here! We entered the meeting room and the presenters sat side by side up on the platform, the wife smiling and looking adoringly at her husband. The topic was the beauty of marital sex. When the woman stood to address the crowd, she began to admonish wives to satisfy their husband’s lusts as a safeguard against their use of pornography and extramarital affairs. My eyebrows raised, my internal alarms began sounding and anger welled up inside of me. Later, after the session, a 20 Something couple approached me. The young man insightfully remarked, “I think I’ve just been called an animal by the retreat speaker! I’m offended!” In a moment, I was given words to verbalize my revulsion to this very common message to wives in Christian contexts.

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How Do I Talk to My Sexually Active Child? - And Other FAQs!

1. How do I address sex with my kids from a covenant point of view if they have already had sex?

I think as our kids get into the later teen years, and demonstrate resistance to any directions from us regarding life choices, we definitely need to share insights learned as they have impacted our own lives. This might sound something like,

"I went to a workshop and learned something surprising, not at all what I expected. The speakers talked about sex as a sign of a covenant. God used covenants to establish relationships between Himself and His people. For example, the rainbow was a sign of the covenant between God and the people of the earth when God made a solemn vow that He would never again flood the earth. God describes marriage all throughout the Bible as a covenant relationship. The sign of a marital covenant is sexual union. I found it so interesting that the implication of this was that every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their covenantal marriage vows."

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Episode 13: What About Lust?

Episode 13: What About Lust?

In Genesis 3, we see the serpent approaching Adam and Eve with a suggestion - a suggestion that perhaps God had been withholding "the good life" from them.  They considered and the question took root in their hearts.  They strike out on their own and grasp for MORE apart from Him.  Immediately blame, shame and suspicion entered the picture and they hid from God and each other.  In the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II this event is described in this way: "Before the fall, there was no threat to the dignity of the person.  They desired nothing but to love as God loves.  After the fall, they covered themselves as a protection from lust."  Their choice to grasp for the good life apart from God delivered them into a realm where instead of experiencing a life of giving and receiving love, it was possible to become the vicim or perpetrator of use and abuse.  Lust had entered into our human experience.

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