The Bachelor and Porn: The Truth They Reveal About Romance, Sex and Marriage

The Bachelor and Porn: The Truth They Reveal About Romance, Sex and Marriage

So what is up with The Bachelor and The Bachelorette? I have to confess that I really don’t get the appeal. However, I frequently overhear excited interchanges regarding these shows. I find that I have to back away slowly in order to avoid alienating my friends and family members with an impassioned speech. And then, after some quiet reflection, realize I need to take a breath and ask, “Why have these shows drawn top ratings for the past 16 years? What can I learn as I observe friends and family who seem inextricably drawn to the stories revealed during this hour?”

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Practical Help For Positive Conversations With Kids About Sexual Purity

Practical Help For Positive Conversations With Kids About Sexual Purity

In our previous blogs and in our workshop, THE conversation raises some serious questions regarding popular Christian teaching surrounding marriage, sex, sexual purity and single celibacy.  Our unspoken and underlying assumptions:

·     Marriage and sex in the context of marriage are prerequisites for a satisfying and fulfilling life.

·     Single celibacy is a sentence for a life of deprivation and loneliness.

 These assumptions not only contradict Biblical teaching but are the source of pain, resentment and many destructive choices.  

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Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

As a socially awkward and introverted teenager, I was ecstatic when I found “belonging” in a thriving high school youth group in the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew in confidence and leadership in this Biblically centered environment and received so many good gifts from God. But as with everything in life, these good gifts came in a mixed bag. Once I established a circle of supportive and fun female relationships, I discovered that it was kind of “a thing” to start a Hope Chest: a chest full of household items that would be joyfully unpacked WHEN one got married and established her own household. It was our idea of a good time to visit department stores, making decisions about our future dish patterns and household color schemes and planning purchases for our chests!

Yearly we anticipated the upcoming sex and dating teaching series in youth group. We eagerly sat on the edge of our seats as we listened to the speaker tell us that sex is awesome beyond imagination in marriage. Our interpretation of the message was this: “Get married so you can experience life’s highest good with God’s stamp of approval!” And many of us did get married young and quickly as this seemed the best strategy for “following the rules” and at the same time satisfying what seemed to us to be our deepest longings and desires.

Interestingly enough, I don’t remember ever hearing a talk on the beauty of the single and celibate life.

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The Language of the Body: Helping You Talk about Sex

The Language of the Body: Helping You Talk about Sex

Does an alarm go off in your head when your child is trying to pull one over on you? One of my closest childhood friends and I were just kids when she told me that she could tell if I wasn’t being truthful because my nostrils would flare. I was so bummed that my nose(of all things)gave me away! My own kids have tells that I won’t make public, but I know them when I see them. I can actually picture it: the particular expression on each one’s face when something’s up, the way posture changes. Seriously, take a minute and visualize the signs that give it away in your kids, a child you know, or a friend. Now visualize someone close to you, so thrilled and excited or in awe that it is written all over his or her face. My husband’s face breaks into total joy with his eyes crinkling, his shoulders rising up and his mouth opening for a spontaneous laugh when he finds something really funny. I can absolutely picture him even as I type this. The body communicates in its own language!

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What's Sex Got To Do With It?

What's Sex Got To Do With It?

Weddings can be simple, extravagant, excruciatingly long, delightful or the best party of the year! My favorite wedding surprise was one that commenced with a procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen each playing an unusual instrument while strolling down the grassy center aisle under tall shade trees. In my day, (here comes the old lady story) we all had pretty much the same wedding: songs, slide shows, cake, sherbet and gingerale punch, nuts and mints. But I love that many weddings today are intentionally planned in a way that expresses something of “who” the bride and groom are as persons. I’m sure it’s not hard to guess some of the particular personality traits of the couple hosting the aforementioned wedding.

In an effort to showcase the individuality and unique nature of the persons entering into marital union, couples last year spent an average of $33,391 according to The Knot 2017 Real Wedding Study. Lauren Kay, who wrote an article entitled, “The Top Wedding Trends for 2018” names these among the top ten:

-asking for cash

-balloon arches

-capes

-single stem bouquets

-open fire cooking and

-Lipstick Touchup Bars!

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Episode 11: Self Inflicted Wounds:Our Unexamined Conversations Surrounding Marriage

Episode 11: Self Inflicted Wounds:Our Unexamined Conversations Surrounding Marriage

The Linda's talk about the status of singleness and of marriage as vocations, hoping to infuse deeper understanding into each of these callings. All of us as Christ followers are summoned by God to a vocation which is subject to change during the different seasons of our lives. It is crucial for us to re-envision both the vocation of marriage and the vocation of single celibate life as an invitation or calling from God to a life of flourishing in communion with Him. In the big picture, the invitation of God into both vocations is the same.

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Episode 10: The Language of Sex

Episode 10: The Language of Sex

We all recognize that our  bodies speak.  Often we hear someone speak with a voice, but his or her body contradicts the message spoken.  This was God's intention from the beginning; that our bodies and our voices would speak in sync with His design.  How does an understanding of the language of the body bring clarity to our understanding of sex, marriage and weddings?  We'll explore this truth as well as discuss ways we can communicate it with the kids in our lives.

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The Fate of Marriage

The Fate of Marriage

Growing up in the San Francisco Bay area in the 1970’s, I became keenly aware of the emerging protest, “Marriage is just a piece of paper!” That protest was not just a fleeting trend. In a 2010 Time magazine article, “Who Needs Marriage: A Changing Institution” (Nov 18, 2010), Belinda Luscombe states, “When an institution so central to human experience suddenly changes shape in the space of a generation or two, it’s worth trying to figure out why.” According to a Pew Research Center poll in 2010, “What we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be. Neither men or women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children.” Results of the 2012 US Census, reveal that 2/3 of couples married in 2012 shared a home together for more than two years before getting married. And no wonder, if our previous understanding of marriage was reduced to no more than a way to get what we viewed as necessary.

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Episode 9: Marriage and Sex: Moving Beyond The Rules

Episode 9: Marriage and Sex: Moving Beyond The Rules

When Jesus was asked about marriage, He points back to the Genesis account and the first marriage for clarity.  If we're to understand the design for marriage and sex, we must first come to understand the covenantal ceremony practiced in Old Testament literature. In this podcast, we'll explore the way the covenant sheds light on the connection between sex, wedding ceremony and marriage.

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Episode 8: Why Doesn't Marriage Satisfy?

Episode 8: Why Doesn't Marriage Satisfy?

If we're honest, even Christ followers have been so influenced by culture that many of us have come to the conclusion that finding, "the one," or sexual experiences, or marriage or some combination are prerequisite for a satisfying and full life.  What if our longings for union, intimacy and ecstasy point to a reality greater than anything we can experience in an earthly relationship?The Lindas discuss and talk about practical ways we can help children to find the satisfaction of all their desires in God alone. 

 

 

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