Is There a Way to Talk With Youth about Single Celibacy Without Sounding Crazy or Irrelevant?- and more FAQs!

Is There a Way to Talk With Youth about Single Celibacy Without Sounding Crazy or Irrelevant?- and more FAQs!

If we can live a fulfilling life being single, why do people long for communion and togetherness with each other?

In our workshop, we talk about the source of our creation as the eternal exchange of love that flows between the persons of the Trinity.  We were made from the love of God.  We were made for the love of God.  And we were made to be an overflow of  God’s love through our lives into the lives of others.  In other words, our lives are all about communion and togetherness from the very beginning.  Marriage is one way to live out our calling to communion and togetherness.  It is not the only way.  We can also live out a calling of single celibacy, giving and receiving love as we unselfishly give of ourselves to others and our community in non-sexual ways.  The fifth and sixth sessions of our workshop help us to teach our kids ways to expand our understanding of love into the big picture of giving life and love to others in our world.  This big picture life brings freedom to understand that we can fulfill our calling in beautiful ways outside of marriage, much like Jesus did.

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Episode 15: Kids and Body Image, A Conversation with Dr. Josh + Christi Straub

Episode 15: Kids and Body Image, A Conversation with Dr. Josh + Christi Straub

This episode was recorded by Dr. Josh and Christi Straub for their podcast, In This Together. THE conversation was incredibly honored to join the In This Together podcast to discuss questions that Dr. Josh and Christi have received from parents about kids and body image struggles. In order to discover how parents can intentionally transform conversations about body image, THE conversation explores with Dr. Josh and Christi: the incalculable and unchanging value of the human person, the truth that the body reveals the person, and God’s intentional design of our body as life-giving and love-giving. If you haven’t listened to THE conversation’s earlier podcasts about the value of the human person and the body that include how to integrate these truths into the parenting of your children, consider listening to:

The Value of the Human Person

The Body Reveals a Person

The Body and Person Are Inseparable

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How Do I Talk to My Sexually Active Child? - And Other FAQs!

1. How do I address sex with my kids from a covenant point of view if they have already had sex?

I think as our kids get into the later teen years, and demonstrate resistance to any directions from us regarding life choices, we definitely need to share insights learned as they have impacted our own lives. This might sound something like,

"I went to a workshop and learned something surprising, not at all what I expected. The speakers talked about sex as a sign of a covenant. God used covenants to establish relationships between Himself and His people. For example, the rainbow was a sign of the covenant between God and the people of the earth when God made a solemn vow that He would never again flood the earth. God describes marriage all throughout the Bible as a covenant relationship. The sign of a marital covenant is sexual union. I found it so interesting that the implication of this was that every time a married couple has sex, they are renewing their covenantal marriage vows."

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Episode 14: A Day at THE conversation Workshop: Impact and Surprises!

Episode 14: A Day at THE conversation Workshop: Impact and Surprises!

The Lindas are joined by participants in our Fresno/Clovis workshop to discuss the impact of the day. We invited perspectives from a single friend, parents of young children and a parent of adult children. Our discussion includes surprises from the day, the personal impact, and what our participants would want others to know about THE conversation Workshop.

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Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

Single Celibacy: Our Unexamined Presuppositions Are Hurting Us!

As a socially awkward and introverted teenager, I was ecstatic when I found “belonging” in a thriving high school youth group in the San Francisco Bay Area. I grew in confidence and leadership in this Biblically centered environment and received so many good gifts from God. But as with everything in life, these good gifts came in a mixed bag. Once I established a circle of supportive and fun female relationships, I discovered that it was kind of “a thing” to start a Hope Chest: a chest full of household items that would be joyfully unpacked WHEN one got married and established her own household. It was our idea of a good time to visit department stores, making decisions about our future dish patterns and household color schemes and planning purchases for our chests!

Yearly we anticipated the upcoming sex and dating teaching series in youth group. We eagerly sat on the edge of our seats as we listened to the speaker tell us that sex is awesome beyond imagination in marriage. Our interpretation of the message was this: “Get married so you can experience life’s highest good with God’s stamp of approval!” And many of us did get married young and quickly as this seemed the best strategy for “following the rules” and at the same time satisfying what seemed to us to be our deepest longings and desires.

Interestingly enough, I don’t remember ever hearing a talk on the beauty of the single and celibate life.

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Episode 13: What About Lust?

Episode 13: What About Lust?

In Genesis 3, we see the serpent approaching Adam and Eve with a suggestion - a suggestion that perhaps God had been withholding "the good life" from them.  They considered and the question took root in their hearts.  They strike out on their own and grasp for MORE apart from Him.  Immediately blame, shame and suspicion entered the picture and they hid from God and each other.  In the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II this event is described in this way: "Before the fall, there was no threat to the dignity of the person.  They desired nothing but to love as God loves.  After the fall, they covered themselves as a protection from lust."  Their choice to grasp for the good life apart from God delivered them into a realm where instead of experiencing a life of giving and receiving love, it was possible to become the vicim or perpetrator of use and abuse.  Lust had entered into our human experience.

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The Language of the Body: Helping You Talk about Sex

The Language of the Body: Helping You Talk about Sex

Does an alarm go off in your head when your child is trying to pull one over on you? One of my closest childhood friends and I were just kids when she told me that she could tell if I wasn’t being truthful because my nostrils would flare. I was so bummed that my nose(of all things)gave me away! My own kids have tells that I won’t make public, but I know them when I see them. I can actually picture it: the particular expression on each one’s face when something’s up, the way posture changes. Seriously, take a minute and visualize the signs that give it away in your kids, a child you know, or a friend. Now visualize someone close to you, so thrilled and excited or in awe that it is written all over his or her face. My husband’s face breaks into total joy with his eyes crinkling, his shoulders rising up and his mouth opening for a spontaneous laugh when he finds something really funny. I can absolutely picture him even as I type this. The body communicates in its own language!

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Episode 12: Single Celibacy, An Invitation to MORE or Deprivation?

Episode 12: Single Celibacy, An Invitation to MORE or Deprivation?

It is interesting to note that both Jesus and Paul were single and celibate.  We often fall prey to feeling sorry for those who are not married and yet how did Jesus experience the abundant kind of life apart from sex and marriage? In this episode the Lindas discuss the vocation of single celibacy, what we can learn about intimately connecting with God from those who have lived this vocation out, and ways to help our kids learn to understand it as an invitation to MORE.

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What's Sex Got To Do With It?

What's Sex Got To Do With It?

Weddings can be simple, extravagant, excruciatingly long, delightful or the best party of the year! My favorite wedding surprise was one that commenced with a procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen each playing an unusual instrument while strolling down the grassy center aisle under tall shade trees. In my day, (here comes the old lady story) we all had pretty much the same wedding: songs, slide shows, cake, sherbet and gingerale punch, nuts and mints. But I love that many weddings today are intentionally planned in a way that expresses something of “who” the bride and groom are as persons. I’m sure it’s not hard to guess some of the particular personality traits of the couple hosting the aforementioned wedding.

In an effort to showcase the individuality and unique nature of the persons entering into marital union, couples last year spent an average of $33,391 according to The Knot 2017 Real Wedding Study. Lauren Kay, who wrote an article entitled, “The Top Wedding Trends for 2018” names these among the top ten:

-asking for cash

-balloon arches

-capes

-single stem bouquets

-open fire cooking and

-Lipstick Touchup Bars!

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Episode 11: Self Inflicted Wounds:Our Unexamined Conversations Surrounding Marriage

Episode 11: Self Inflicted Wounds:Our Unexamined Conversations Surrounding Marriage

The Linda's talk about the status of singleness and of marriage as vocations, hoping to infuse deeper understanding into each of these callings. All of us as Christ followers are summoned by God to a vocation which is subject to change during the different seasons of our lives. It is crucial for us to re-envision both the vocation of marriage and the vocation of single celibate life as an invitation or calling from God to a life of flourishing in communion with Him. In the big picture, the invitation of God into both vocations is the same.

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