How do I help my 8 year old respond to a request for sex?


My child, who is 8 years old, has had some experiences at school with an older boys at her school who has asked to have sex with her. I’m so glad she brought this to me, but how do I talk with her clearly about this but in an age appropriate way?


Here is a starting point for this conversation:

Our body selves are designed by God to be a gift to others. We can give ourselves as a gift by serving them with Jesus' kind of love. This kind of love respects others. It is given freely, not demanded or with force. It cares about the others' feelings. It doesn't use others to get what we want.

If you ever feel like someone is not respecting you, is trying to force you to do something you don't feel good about, does not seem to be caring about your feelings or to use you to get something he or she wants, you know this person is not loving you with Jesus' kind of love.

As you grow older, you will learn many new ways to give love to others through your body self. And when you are a lot older you may get married. There is a special way that two people who get married give themselves as a gift to one another. This is the way for married couples to say, "I give my whole self to you and only to you for the rest of my life." If you get married, you will give yourself as a gift to your husband or wife in this way.

Before you get married, it is possible that someone might ask you to give yourself to him or her in a way that is only loving when it is a gift given between two people who are married. A clue that can help you to know that this person is someone to be avoided is if they try to touch or ask to touch the parts of yourself that are covered by your bathing suit (or your private parts). It is OK to tell this person, "NO!" and run away. If this ever happens, you are to call me right away and tell me to come get you. I will not be upset with you. Remember that!